I am sharing here a mildly edited post that I submitted to a private group, about how to be the change that we want to see. I’ve been asked for permission to share it. I’m okay with that but since the post was written specifically for that group, I felt the need to change some wording to make it more inclusive of others. You are welcome to share the link to this blog post or to copy/paste the words, as long as you don’t change them. Be your own change, please and thank you.
Actually an X-ray of an arm, but then I never claimed I was a doctor
BE THE CHANGE
I’m going to tell you about something I believe for myself in general as well as with social media in particular. It’s not anything I’m telling you to do, though maybe you might think about it.
If I am going to be the change I want to see, then I need to not keep obsessively ‘reporting’ the bad shit anymore. This is because when I am exposed to that ugly stuff it makes me feel ugly: angry, enraged, wanting to hurt the people who are doing bad shit to us.
But you see, if that’s what happens to me when I see ugly stuff, it’s likely that’s what happens to other people. And when I realized that, I came to understand how damaging it is to share bad shit when so many of my social media friends (and strangers) are sharing the same stuff.
Sharing ugly stuff doesn’t set me off on the beauty path. It does NOT help me fix anything. Instead it makes what’s going on seem impossible to deal with for me – and I believe for everybody else, too.
Worse, it’s doing the work of the ugly ones for them. Helplessness sucks away power. That’s a basic tenet of magic, after all. It’s a fact of life.
Let me tell you, when I realized what I was doing I knew I had to treat it like a bad habit that had to stop immediately because it was killing me. Plus, encouraging others to feel helpless doesn’t fix the ugly that’s going on.
It’s not hopeless and we’re not helpless. Anything can be dealt with in some way if enough people want to do what it takes.
But what does it take?
Look, suppose you have a broken arm. You can see & feel that it’s broken. Your friends and family can see it’s broken, everybody in the ER can see it’s broken.
Lots of photos are taken of the broken arm. X-rays, too. Everybody shares the information. They talk about how much pain you might feel, about how you broke the arm. They talk about what will happen if it’s not fixed right away, and how you could lose use of the arm if something isn’t done. They share all this stuff on social media and talk to their friends about it. Everybody’s sharing all this now.
You see the problem? You’re yelling your head off in pain but even so, the one thing that’s not happening is anybody taking any actual steps to set the arm so it will heal.
OK, what if it’s not your arm that’s broken? What if it’s your neighbor’s arm? Should you not share that info?
Think about it: Sharing bad news about your neighbor’s arm still isn’t doing anything to get it fixed, it just is just passing off the responsibility for actually helping on someone else.
Yes, what I’m saying is sharing bad news without taking some kind of action that directly applies to fixing the situation is part of the problem, not part of the solution.
So I have come to understand that even if I don’t have the faintest idea of what the solution is, I’ve got to look for solutions, talk about solutions, ask about solutions, think about my relationship to solutions – I’ve got to shake off the ugly shit and aim myself towards the light.
I’ve got to at least look for the light, not the ugly murk.
That’s why I’m writing this post. I worry that we are all getting buried in bad news. I’m seeing that many are feeling like they are yelling their heads off with pain – but what’s broken is not getting fixed.
I’m seeing that it’s not enough to say don’t share bad shit – I’ve got to be the change I want to see. I’m not the first to come up with this wisdom I’m sharing with you now, and I don’t want to be the last. I’m also no expert in practicing what I preach. But I’m trying. I’m going to do my best to keep talking about the path to the light rather than the darkness I wish to leave behind.
LCS 6/25
